This particular night happened about 2 months after I moved to NYC. The girl mentioned in the story has been featured in a couple of earlier stories in this blog but I will change her name here to be nice... (although believe me she does not deserve it).
So on a random Friday night, Tara asks if I would be interested in grabbing a glass of wine or two. She lives in Brooklyn but was willing to drive into the city and go out somewhere in my hood. She said she didn't want a crazy night but didn't want to sit at home by herself either. Understandable. So I said, "Sure." So we went to Auction House. The Auction House is a really interesting lounge/bar that has the weirdest rules to get, such as you have to be over 25 and not wearing fur. They stick to those rules too. I have seen it. Also, it has this darkly lit, velvet curtains, naked Victorian lady paintings vibe.
So Tara and I are having a glass of wine at the bar, just talking and she wants to go outside to smoke. We are standing outside and this guy walks up and just starts talking to us like he already knew us. Like we were in the middle of a conversation with him and he had just walked away for a second. It was the weirdest thing. I kept looking at him, trying to figure out what the heck was going on and if Tara did, in fact, know this guy. Tara just seems to be going with it. By the way, Tara has a boyfriend that she lives with. So I am just standing there and they are talking about Halloween (which was coming up), places to go and costume ideas.
He asks if he can buy us a drink and Tara agrees. So he comes inside the bar with us. Tara and him are talking and I am just standing there still trying to figure out exactly what is going on. He then turns to me and says, "What is with your cunty attitude?" Full disclosure, I hate this word. I think it is one of the worst words you can call a woman. I hate even repeating it. But, I think for the full impact of this story and the way I felt this night, it is necessary.
Now I am completely taken aback by this comment. I have no idea what to say. I have said next to nothing to him and definitely did not deserve that. So Tara acts like it is no big deal and I just say, "You need to apologize because that was completely uncalled for." He just laughed it off and Tara and him kept talking.
Now I know what you are going to say. I know, I know, I should have just walked out right there, but I didn't. So anyway he starts talking to me and when I am unresponsive, he asks if I am still mad. I told him that I didn't want to talk to someone who uses that kind of offensive, oppressive language. He said it wasn't offensive or oppressive. He said, "It isn't like women have ever been oppressed." I said, "Really? Because it is my understanding that until pretty recently women were seen as property and did not have the right to voice." He didn't have anything to say to that. Now I am not sure that I consider myself a full on feminist but frankly, I am pretty sick and tired of being a woman that constantly has to justify her education and that she IS, in fact, just as smart and capable as a man.
Then he started talking about the holocaust. Why? I have no idea. So I said that I had actually read a lot about it and found it an interesting piece of history that hopefully we can all learn from and learn to accept people's differences. He then said that, "You need to get off of your liberal soap box and stop being anti-Semitic."
Huh?
Me? Liberal? Anti-Semitic? What?
So then I tried to walk away and he tried dancing with me. I said, " Please leave me alone. You are clearly interested in my friend. Why don't you go talk to her?"
Tara at this point had wandered off somewhere else, leaving me with this guy. He responds with, "Why can't you believe that I like you?"
Huh?
So confused.
I said, "Maybe because you called me the c-word, and anti-Semitic." So again I tried to walk away to find Tara and he grabbed my arm. I started raising my voice, telling him to let go. The bouncer comes over and asks what the problem is. I told him that I was trying to walk away but he grabbed my arm and wouldn't let go. The bouncer then tells me that we didn't stop we would both be kicked out. Seriously? I am trying to walk away, a strange guy grabs my arm and won't let go and I am going to get thrown out on the street with said guy. Yes, that sounds like an assault waiting to happen. Thanks. I did tell the bouncer that I am trying to walk away. The bouncer did tell the guy to leave me alone and I walked away. I am assuming he left.
So then I found Tara talking to a big group of people, flirting with a guy who clearly had a girlfriend because she was giving Tara the worst looks. As soon as I find her and try to smooth over that situation, she walks away again. So I am left with that girlfriend yelling at me. Jeez. I just walked away again. At least the girl let me. Did I mention that Tara has a boyfriend?? A really nice one too.
So then when I extricate myself from that situation, I find her talking to two old dudes at the other end of the bar. Can I just say by this point I am mentally exhausted? I really just want to go home. I do not want to be following after a 35 year old woman, cleaning up her messes. So those old guys are flirting with her and when I walk up they ask if would like to join them to partake of some cocaine. I couldn't make this shit up if I tried. Of course, I politely declined the offer. I actually think Tara thought about it. Somehow we eventually were standing outside the bar with these same guys because she kept talking to them. Why would you let a little cocaine offer deter you? The one who offered was asking Tara to come home with him. She got frustrated that he wasn't leaving her alone and finally acknowledged that she does, in fact, have a boyfriend and proceeded to scream, "I am not going home with you. I am not going to sleep with you. I have a boyfriend." Well, that got him and his friend's attention and they took off.
So just when I think this evening is finally over, these three people approach us. It was a girl and two guys. Something about the look of this group gave me the creeps. Nothing I could put my finger on. There were around the same age, they were dressed normal but still...
Anyway, they started talking to us (about what I have no idea) and then try to convince us to come over to one of their apartments, which was supposed to be around the corner. It is sometime between 3 or 4 am. Not only has my night been shitty and completely draining, I am exhausted and I need to let my dog out. So I try to make excuses but they aren't taking no for an answer. It also seems like Tara wants to go to their apartment. So I say I have to let my dog out. They all walk with me to my apartment. On the way there, we got on the subject on why my night has been so bad so I told them about it. Tara chimes in and says, "You are only offended because you are from Missouri. People don't get offended by the c-word here."
The way she said it was like I was this complete and total hick that was being a baby. After that I let my dog out and let them all know that I was going to bed. I asked Tara repeatedly if she was ok and told her she could stay with me. She insisted she was fine and that she wanted to go to these people's apartment. There was nothing more for me to say or do. She is a big girl. Side note: I didn't think Tara was that drunk. I only recall her having 2-3 glasses of wine but there were plenty of moments where I didn't see her. She seemed to go from completely fine to wasted in the blink of an eye. So I went home and fell asleep.
The next morning I heard from her saying she walked with those people for a couple of blocks and then decided that she wanted to go home. She said it took her almost an hour to find where she has parked her car. Then when she was driving, she hit something and messed up her car so bad that it couldn't drive so she had to take a cab and have her car towed. When I told our mutual friend this story, she told me that she hit a cab! Ugh. I decided after that night that for many reasons she was not a good friend to have. She didn't stand up for me with that loser, she made fun of me, and got me into crazy situations. She is just too much drama for me. I actually ran into again much later but that is a story for another time. By the way, she is still bat shit crazy!
-S
P.S. Sorry it is a long one. :)
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